Obituary of Jacque Callaghan

Jacqueline "Jacque" Ann Callaghan Jacque Callaghan loved the color red. Her kitchen had a red stove (purchased on sale, of course); the family room had a red shag rug that she made to match the red and white striped slipcovers on the furniture. In 1976 she even painted the kitchen red, white, and blue, and decorated the Christmas tree in patriotic colors. Perhaps Jacque loved red because she was born near Christmas. Perhaps it was because the color red so well characterized her personality. Jacque was a woman of action; she was energizing, vibrant, funny and clever. She warmed up any room. Jacque lived with enthusiasm and a general love of life. Jacque made the most ordinary events fun. And she always had something to say. Jacqueline Ann Gibney was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico on December 23, 1923 to Lawrence W. and Helen E. Gibney. In the late 1920’s the family, including older sister Genevieve, moved to Los Angeles, California. Although her dad had steady work during the Depression, her parents were frugal. She told stories of helping her dad straighten nails at his workbench and of sharing nickel milkshakes with her sister at the soda fountain. Jacque attended Fairfax High School. She was not a great student, but was a good athlete, especially in basketball. Since it was her nature to be in charge, it is only natural that she was Girls Athletic Association President her senior year. Jacque entered UCLA in 1941 and graduated with a BA in Accounting in 1945. She joined Theta Phi Alpha sorority and told us stories of trying to study in the blackouts during the war. In the sorority she developed life-long friends that came to be known as “The Pot-Luck People” – a group of couples that gathered for pot-luck gatherings for 50 years. After college she was employed as one of the first female accountants ever hired by Price Waterhouse in Los Angeles. It was there she met Jim (Joseph) Callaghan, the brother of one of her sorority sisters. Jim and Jacque married on June 10, 1950. They had three children: Maureen, Peggy and Kevin. The family lived in Playa Del Rey, Covina, Los Angeles and Irvine. Jacque was a homemaker during her children’s at-home years. She was the organizer of a number of school and parish events. With friends in the Van Ness neighborhood Jacque and Jim enjoyed many gatherings, summer camping trips, and raising their families together. In 1994 she and Jim moved to Port Ludlow, Washington. After enjoying 10 years at Greenview Village, they moved to an assisted living facility in Tacoma, and finally to the Olympia area in 2006. Almost nothing gave Jacque more pleasure than finding a good bargain. Jacque purchased nearly everything “on sale”. This resulted in some interesting fashion remarkables that her children endured, such as the leopard print plastic raincoats, the prison striped pajamas, and the red, white, and blue long pants. Jacque was the commensurate “do-it-yourself” person. Out of economic necessity, fun or the challenge of the project, she took on a variety of sewing projects. When the dining room set needed to be reupholstered and refinished, or when a sprinkler system needed to be installed, she did it. She kept the dryer going for years, doing the repairs herself with advice from “The Appliance Doctor”. Jacque and Jim went on many family trips in the travel trailer including Lake Tahoe, Mexico, California beaches, Yellowstone, and Yosemite. In later life they enjoyed cruises and traveled to all seven continents. What Jacque loved the most was her family, and often said the “family jewels” were her children. Family pictures were on every wall of her home. She cared for her mother with Alzheimer's disease until she died. Nothing gave Jacque and Jim more pleasure than to be with their grandchildren and to arrange special trips with them. Jacque’s Catholic faith was central to her being. She always believed in the power of prayer, especially in time of need. The Catholic Bible was always on her dresser, with two statues of the Blessed Virgin. Jacque lived with vigor, spirit and a great sense of humor, including the ability to laugh at herself. She accepted her illness of dementia with great bravery and grace. Even in her final months a remnant of her ability to make others laugh remained. Jacque is survived by daughters Maureen Callaghan of Olympia (WA), Peggy Papathakis of Arroyo Grande (CA) and son Kevin Callaghan of Lomita (CA). She is also survived by her sons-in-law Allen Miller and John Papathakis, and grandchildren Brendan, Patrick and Brigit Miller, and Sean, Eric and Caitlin Papathakis. Additionally she is survived by her sister Genevieve Beardsley of Stockton (CA) and her sister-in-law Pat Jones of Carmel (CA). We miss her so much, but rejoice with her as she is liberated from the confines of Alzheimer’s disease. She has been looking for Jim since he died. In her final week, she said she was going to be with him. “He is waiting for me.” Contributions in her memory can be made to the Alzheimer’s Association 12721-30th Ave. NE Suite 101 Seattle, WA 98125 or www.alz.org or the Alzheimer Foundation of America, 322 Eighth Ave. New York, NY 10001, or www.alzfdn.org/contribute. The family has provided their personal reflections of Jacque below. From Brendan: Although Grandma’s disease prevented me from knowing her as a young adult, I most fondly remember her for her nuances. Whenever there was a mess or something was out of place Grandma would go out of her way to fix it. Even when Alzheimer’s disease had made communication with her difficult, I could still tell that Grandma felt she needed to pick the tissue up off the floor of the car before she would be able to get in. As far back as I can remember Grandma would be the one doing dishes after large family dinners. She was not one to complain or gripe about any of this, unlike us the grandchildren, at times to our mothers’ chagrin. She was a woman who loved her grandchildren very much. I have very fond memories of Grandma in her Port Ludlow home always having candy in a bowl and cooking marvelous dinners. She and Grandpa made quite a team taking us on day trips from places like Diablo Lake in the North Cascades and to the submarine base at Bangor. She kept a wonderful home, was a wonderful grandmother and I will miss her warm smile and hug. Brigit’s Memory of Grandma: When I think of my grandma, one of the things I think of is all the collections she had. When I used to go to her house in Port Ludlow, I loved looking at all the different things she and grandpa had collected from around the world. There were spoons, thimbles, coins, golf balls, and of course my favorite, dolls. Grandma kept a collection of dolls from all around the world that she had acquired from of her travels with Grandpa. She passed these collections down to me and Caitlin one day. I remember going through with her where each doll was from, and I still love looking at them today; they are my memory of my grandma. By Caitlin: Grandma used to be my favorite playmate. When she would come to visit I could not wait to play dolls and have her read books to me. Grandma always made everything fun; singing, drawing, and playing were so much better with her. I remember when I was visiting grandma and grandpa in Irvine and she took me to get pictures taken. I felt so special because I got to wear grandma’s cross and she did my hair. I loved that time alone with her. Another of my favorite times with her was only about a month ago. I was in Washington for grandpa’s memorial and I got to take care of grandma. We sat on the couch with each other and I felt so close to her. She told me that she loved me and was happy to have my company. I am so glad to have had that time with her. In the recent years as grandma’s memory deteriorated, it only made me realize the gift that she gave me when I was younger. I see grandma in myself and I feel blessed to have that part of her with me. ERIC Just like grandpa, grandma would always plan ahead for my trips to visit them. I remember always getting a phone call from her a couple of days before I flew down to see them. Grandma wanted to make sure that they would have the type of food I liked when I got there. She always made sure that everything was in order before I arrived so that I could have the best time possible. I have very fond memories of visiting grandma and grandpa. When I was at their house they always put me before everything else to make sure that I was happy and having a good time. Allen The first time I met Jacque Callaghan was when I had a business trip to Las Vegas and had to make a plane connection at LAX, the main airport in Los Angeles. It was in November of 1983 and I had been dating Maureen for a few months. Jacque met me at the airport while I was on my layover. I’m sure the ulterior motive was for Jacque to “check out” her elder daughter’s boyfriend, but I was impressed with her generosity in giving me a nice 1984 Los Angeles Olympics athletic bag. Being a lifelong fan of the Olympics and their history, the gift was a hit for me. After marrying into the family and getting to know Jacque better, I’m sure she bought the bag at some sale, but nevertheless, it has remained a cherished gift and memory. I think I passed the “boyfriend” test with the luck of having red hair although I was not Irish. Another sign of Jacque’s generosity was illustrated later, after she and Jim moved to Port Ludlow in 1994. We were always invited to their house on Greenview Lane for Thanksgiving. It was fun to sing “Over the Narrows and through the woods, to Grandmother’s house we go” as we crossed the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. The kids and I would always play football in the street in front of their house before being called in for dinner. I learned later that she didn’t really like to cook, but she would do a nice job with the turkey dinner, especially the creamed onions. Her thoughtfulness showed through with every detail down to the Pilgrim motif place cards on the table. I believe Jacque wanted to have Thanksgiving with Jim next month, so I was not surprised at her passing on to heaven. I’m sure we’ll hear them clinking their Waterford wine glasses and toasting “Slainte” at our next Turkey Day. Thanks for being my mother-in-law and for being a great grandmother to my children. John’s Words about Jacque: Jacque was a woman who always had at least one project for me when our family would come to visit. Sometimes these projects were very small, but sometimes they would take me at least a day to complete. Jacque usually had all of the hardware, tools, nails and screws to complete the task, but frequently her tools were quite old and didn’t work very well or didn’t work at all. Also, sometimes the nails she had were bent nails that I guess she just couldn’t throw away. I never came right out and said to her that she might want to purchase a few new tools in order to make things a little easier, but I always kept that idea in the back of my mind. I learned to ask what jobs she had in mind for me before every visit. In that way I was able to bring my own tools, which would be right for the job, and be able to finish the project in a timely manner. Of course, in order to please Jacque, I used as many of Jacque’s tools as I could, especially when she was looking over my shoulder, which she did quite regularly. Kevin’s Reflections: We went on a backpacking trip in the summer of “75” with Mom’s friends from college, the Riley’s and the Smith’s. Most of the equipment was packed by mules. Mom did not like to carry a backpack because the extra weight took away from enjoying the scenery. On that trip she had a red down jacket, a red wind breaker, red gloves, a red down sleeping bag even a red tackle box. We had trout with real eggs for breakfast, and trout for dinner. We did not have fish for lunch because that is when we were out fishing. The adults had “cocktail time” every day before dinner and wine with dinner (thanks to the mule that had to haul everything). During that trip I remember that one day it rained all day and we were stuck in the tent for most of the day. There was lightning and thunder that was so close that the thunder occurred at the same time as the light flash. I also remember that we had to leave early Saturday before everyone else, so we would be back in town for the 5:30 mass in Lee Vining. Dad was not very mechanical, so mom did all the repairs around our home at 226 Van Ness in Los Angeles. When I was around 12 she decided that I should learn too, so she enlisted my help in a number of projects. We put up wood paneling on the wall of my bed room. We painted the kitchen Red, white & blue for the bicentennial (1976). We repaired the clothes dryer many times. When my dad was out of town on business, mom often gave me an incentive for good behavior. If I was good all week, we would go to Browns ice cream parlor in Hollywood for a hot fudge sundae. Browns invented the hot fudge sundae and was a favorite place of my mom’s dating to her childhood. I am quite certain the trip to Browns was more of a treat for my mom than for me, because I don’t like chocolate that much. For her, if it wasn’t chocolate – it wasn’t worth the calories. Patrick: Grandma was an amazing woman. She had an amazing ability to make those around her laugh and always feel good about themselves. When my grandparents lived in Port Ludlow we would go up every summer for a week to stay with them, and grandma would be the one who took us golf ball hunting in the pond across from their house on the golf course. She would always be so genuinely excited when we found a colored ball or ball with a picture on it, and I remember she would even pay us for the really great ones to add to her collection she had mounted on the wall in the kitchen of their house. It really is truly remarkable to me how resilient my grandma was, while she knew she had a memory problem she continued to try to make those people around her feel good about themselves. Peggy: I learned so many things from my mom: How to pray when I was frightened in the middle of the night, How to sew and make my prom dress, How NOT to cook, How to plant and grow roses, How to be organized and plan for success, How to bait a hook and catch a fish, How to enjoy the thrill of a bargain, How to bathe a newborn baby, How to strip and refinish furniture, How to balance a checkbook, How to be generous in giving of my time, talent and treasure, How to enjoy See’s candy and other good quality chocolate. But the most important thing I learned from my mom is about a mother’s love. Perhaps my favorite memory of my mom was the 2-4 weeks she spent with us each time I gave birth to one of her three grandchildren. She came to take care of us all, John, me and babies and children. She shopped and made the meals, did the laundry, comforted crying babies in the middle of the night, read stories and played with grandchildren. She even re-upholstered the dining set. It was then that I truly understood all that my mother did for me throughout my life that I never appreciated. I feel she still is with us even though she is physically gone. Sean: I have many fond memories of grandma. One of my fondest memories is the time Grandma and Grandpa came to take care of us when my parents went to Ireland. My parents were gone for about a week and during that time Grandma and I played one monopoly game. The game lasted for the entire week. Grandma owned houses on one complete side of the board and I had hotels on a small corner of the board. The money kept going back and forth between us with no clear winner. When one of us lost all of our money the other person would loan the other person some money so the game could continue. Grandma always thought of fun things for the grandkids to do, and I will always remember that about her. Maureen’s reflections on Mom: My mom was my best friend. My mom was my best council. My mom was my greatest comfort. My mother had such a big, dynamic personality that she is hard to describe. If there was a problem to solve she would find a solution. She liked doing things – whether it was some sewing project like making a rug for the family room or clothes for her children, building a bird house for outside my apartment, painting and wallpapering my bedroom or laying the sprinkler system. Mom loved finding a bargain and rarely bought anything that wasn’t “on sale”. I remember shopping with her in the garment district in LA and shopping for fabric remnants on La Cienega. Mom made my prom dress. She went to all my basketball games, even though I never got off the bench. I remember she taught me to drive on Heliotrope Street in LA. I remember her taking me to the Farmer’s Market at age 15 to look for a summer job. She and my Dad took us on many trips in our travel trailer. My mom came to comfort me when I broke up with my first boyfriend in college. In the 1970s I took her backpacking with me and some friends. She caught the fish and hoped for a “hot flash” when it got cold at night. I remember sending my parents a telegram to a ship in the Caribbean when I was finally accepted to medical school. I remember making preparations with her for my wedding. She came to help out after the birth of each of my children. She loved spending time with my children. She and my Dad helped straighten out the finances for my practice. My mom loved chocolate – and hid it from her children. She loved the color red. She was witty. She was clever. She was fun. I spoke to her on the telephone every week. My mom taught me about guardian angels, the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, and the value of prayer. She taught me to pray when I needed help or was in distress. She taught me to pray for others in need. She kept the family bible and statues of the Blessed Virgin Mary on her dresser. She always wore a cross around her neck. My mom endured Alzheimer’s disease the last 10 years of her life. Over those years, she drifted away from us. Even so, whenever I was with my mom our hearts touched. Jacque still had enough spark left and could delight those who cared for her at Magnolia Woods Adult Family Home. I will be forever grateful for the loving care she received there, where she was welcomed into the hearts of her caregivers and their families. I miss her physical presence, but even now feel her love and wonderful spirit. My mother lived a rich and full life. I know she and my Dad smile on each of us now. They both leave for us all a rich legacy of love of family, love of God, and love of life. We love you, Mom and Dad. God Bless.